#wellness
Are you okay?
“Yes of course I am feeling great.”
“No, I am feeling horrible. I don’t feel like talking actually.”
Out of the 2, which is the response you have heard the most? Not that whoever says the former is lying. But it’s our go-to response to escape more questions.
The difference between physical pain and mental pain, and I say pain to include any and every feeling, is that physical pain is something that’s taught from a young age.
We might not see the pain, but it’s easy to accept when anyone says it. Our parents, relatives, teachers, advertisements, and whatnot. They don’t say it as something to humiliate someone. They say solutions to relieve the pain.
Advertisements of painkillers are so common with catchy tunes, while mental illness is often treated as a dirty secret or a joke.
Be it movies, which earlier has shown funny scenarios with mental hospitals, or families hiding the visits to therapists as they are afraid of the stigma. And we learned this is something that needs to be hidden.
Even now, when every other post on social media is about wellness, and we definitely would support others who are struggling, sometimes we find it difficult to accept the same for ourselves. We are afraid of others thinking we are failures.
What Goes Through The Mind
We doubt ourselves thinking we will be okay soon, this is not such a “big deal”, and we have to “overcome this feeling of loneliness and sadness.” “Oh come on, grow up.” “I am not the only person with problems. There are people with more genuine problems.” Different scenarios where we convince ourselves it’s something not important.
On the off chance that we do share it with someone, and they don’t support us and share something similar to the above thoughts? That’s it, we wouldn’t dare to open up again.
If I say, my arm hurts, and I would get many suggestions on exercises, doctor appointments, food, rest, etc.
If I say, I am unable to do anything nowadays, not feeling great, and the response I would get is mostly one of the many, “Stop being lazy.” Or “stop making silly excuses.” Or the worst- ignoring the sentiment and moving on to the next topic.
Someone feeling low would start to feel even worse with these ignorant responses. They would believe what the others spit out, because of the lingering doubt that they are not the best judge.
How To Make A Change
So make it a common topic in your household about feelings. Dad, Mom- if you are feeling low in spirits, share it with your children. Don’t hide it.
Let them see “It’s okay to be not okay”.
“It’s ok to cry.”
“It’s ok to feel sad.”
“Tears don’t make you weak.”
“It’s okay to struggle sometimes.”
“It’s ok to ask for help. Nobody would judge you.”
Let your home and arms be the safest place for them to rest.